A
wedding. Everyone has their own
interpretation of what a wedding is, or at least what it should be. Your own, your friends, your children’s and
perhaps even your parents. A wedding is
a celebration of life, a union of two people in love who pledge their lives to
one another. In Nevada and in many
states, this now includes ALL people, and that is truly a good and joyful
thing!
A wedding is
a binding contract tying two people together.
In the church we consider it to be one of the sacraments as we see it as
far more than simply a civil contract, but as a gift from God and a pledge of
obedience to each other and to God. It
is also often a huge event! It is a time
for celebration with family and friends, a time to eat, drink and be
merry. A time to connect with people you
don’t see often and to renew bonds of friendship and family.
In the
ancient world, weddings had some of the same character, but there were some
very distinct differences. It is these
differences that make today’s passage from Matthew a bit hard to understand, so
this morning I would like to talk about them and see how they may help us with
the wedding concept.
Today we
think of a wedding in basically two parts; the ceremony and the reception. Whether in a church in front of a priest, at city
hall in front of a justice of the peace, or in a wedding chapel in front of
Elvis, the ceremony marks the beginning of the union. An engagement is an agreement to be married,
but it is not until the ceremony that a binding contract is established between
the two people.
In ancient
days things were different. The wedding
was actually in three parts. The first
was the betrothal. This was what we
would consider the engagement where an offer of marriage was made and
accepted. It was not typically made by
the couple, but by their families.
Arranged marriages were common and were much more about joining of
families for economic reasons than for anything as silly as love. But, unlike our concept of engagement, the
betrothal was a binding agreement and the couple were considered to be married
at that point, even though they would still live apart. In some cases this was because the couple
were children and had to wait to move forward until they had come of age, while
in other cases it was to allow the groom time to earn the dowry called the Mohar
that had to be paid to the bride’s family.
Remember the story of the Virgin Mary and her betrothal to Joseph? Each advent I get asked why Mary would be
traveling with him if they were not yet married. Now you understand that as they were
betrothed they were in fact considered to be married.
When the
time came for the second part of the wedding, the families would agree on an
approximate time, but it was not a fixed point in time. The second part is what
we would think of as the consummation of the marriage. Remember that the couple was already
considered to be legally married, but the consummation would establish the virginity
of the bride and the commencement of their life together. It was largely up to the groom to determine
the exact date and time. The bride was
expected to make herself ready for the groom, attended by her bridesmaids. The bridesmaids would prepare her for the
arrival of her husband, but since they did not know when he was coming, they
were with her morning, noon and night.
Only once the groom had arrived and the marriage had been consummated
would the third part of the wedding begin; the celebration.
Remember
that we are not talking about a time and place with 9 channels of HBO and a 4G
WiFi connection. These were small rural
villages in Palestine with extremely little in the way of entertainment. Every wedding in the village was a huge event
and all of the family and friends would take part in the celebration; a
celebration by the way that would last an entire week. A wedding was the event of the year and after
all, who doesn’t want to be part of a week-long party? But there was of course
a catch. You had to be there when the
party started. If you were not, then you
were quite literally shut out. So it was
important to be sure you were ready when the groom arrived because you clearly
did not want to miss out on the event.
Which brings
us to the story of the wise and foolish bridesmaids. Those who were wise had planned ahead and
brought enough oil for their lamps, while the foolish had not. I imagine they were very excited for their
friend, were flattered to have been chosen to take part in this momentous
occasion in her life, and were very much looking forward to the feasting and
dancing at the wedding banquet. But in
their enthusiasm for the moment, they had let their concern for the present
come before their hope for the future; and in so doing they sacrificed their
ability to share in the wonder of the event that was to come.
Now I think
we are starting to get a taste of the meaning of the gospel. The bridesmaids were called to wait with the
bride for the coming of her groom; for the commencement of the life that meant,
and the celebration that they had long looked forward to. But they were either too excited about the
event to properly prepare themselves for their task, or they were too caught up
in their own lives and problems to invest the effort and energy needed for the
task at hand. The wise had been just as
excited or just as preoccupied, but in their wisdom they knew the importance of
preparing for what was to come.
The Wisdom
of Solomon tells us “Wisdom is radiant and unfading and is found by those who
seek her.” If you seek wisdom, we are
told, you will have no difficulty in finding her as she waits for us,
graciously appearing in our paths and meeting us in every thought. But that is the catch isn’t it? For while wisdom is always ready for us, we
must want to find it in the first place.
We must seek wisdom; we must place a value on wisdom and want to open
ourselves to what we can learn from it.
If we don’t
value wisdom, or if we aren’t willing to accept that we have things we can
learn and be willing to invest the time and the energy, then wisdom will elude
us. The foolish bridesmaids saw no value
in wisdom and found themselves on the outside looking in, but the wise were able
to accomplish their task and enjoy the rewards.
But there is
another point to be made. This is not
just about the good maids vs. the bad or the wise vs. the foolish. For what happened when the foolish asked the
wise for some oil? They didn’t tell
them, tough luck you should have planned ahead.
No, they told them we don’t have enough, but you should go and buy some
and return. Instead of deriding them for
their lack of preparation, they gave them a helpful suggestion and a path to
the wisdom that had eluded them.
If you are
not actively seeking wisdom, now would be a good time to consider it. For as Jesus says, you know neither the time
nor the hour when the groom will come.
If you are wise and are preparing for the coming of the bridegroom, good
for you. But remember not to be smug
about your preparation. Remember also to
offer help to those who need it so that we all may attend the bridegroom when
he returns. For the bride is the church
and the bridegroom is Jesus Christ the Lord.
We know not the day nor the hour when he will return to take possession
of his world. But if that day were
today, which of the bridesmaids would you be?
